Bits 'n Pieces

As I mentioned earlier, my prescription for 'elevated legs' means a lot of TV watching as well as the crocheting that seems to have taken over my life. Usually I just 'go with the flow' but sometimes something will just annoy me all out of proportion (so to speak) to being my business.

For instance, I really enjoy watching "The View," mostly because I'm a big Whoopi Goldberg fan. Lately I've been averting my gaze when they all come out to greet the audience, because Sherrie really annoys me. Not her personality, which seems to fit the formula of blended personalities, but her physical looks.

She has a pretty face and a delightful smile, but her over-the-top pride in her own boobs is getting on my last nerve. They are WAY out of proportion to her height, and pretty much any other woman who looks to be about 5'2" with a bra size of (my guess) about 32HH is probably saving her $$s or pleading with her health insurance company for a breast reduction. Sherrie has, instead, opted for wanting a ....ready for it??.... butt enhancement. She will look like the letter S if she does it. Not a pretty mental image, IMO. Healthwise, I give her another 5 or so years before just the weight of them starts to cause physical problems. And considering the density of them, I hate to think what might be lurking within. How easy is it to get accurate mammograms when the tissue is about half-a-foot thick?

It's hard not to think that Sherrie relies on her breasts as the sum total of her image, that without them she would be just another run-of-the-mill African-American TV celebrity. If that's true, that's sad. But I do think she's more than that, and she needs to believe it, too, then go get a breast reduction. A size C or even D would be pretty much perfect for her, in my opinion. As it is, they look like weapons.

Now and again she chats about finding a guy to share her life with. I don't think it's occured to her for even a moment that those breasts might intimidate the kind of man she's looking for. True, there are guys out there who would start baying at the moon at the mere thought of seeing those mountains undraped---but I doubt if that kind of guy is what she's looking for. If it's difficult for women to be around her without gazing at them, think how difficult it must be for the average nice guy to have a conversation with her without focusing, at least in his mind, on trying not to look at them. Sounds like too much work, to me.


Oh, C'mon....

It's not that I'm jealous of TV people who have a lot of money. Hell, at least SOME of them are basically in some part of the 'middle class' spectrum. Some of them, especially a couple of weekday hosts of national shows, make multi-millions each year. I'm envious, but not mad at them. However, I have trouble with them sometimes, when they suddenly whine about the high cost of grocery items.

Sigh. Yes, it's difficult for me when the cost of eggs goes up, or the utility company sends me a little missive that hints about increased costs of bringing me my gas, lights and water and sorrowfully says they will just have to pass it along to me.

But when someone who's just signed a three-year contract for $8,000,000.00 WITH NO OVERHEAD starts bitching about an extra 23 cents, I just want to go into orbit. These folks can BUY the damn grocery store, supermarket, and/or all its branches and still have money left over for a Mazzerati each year. C'mon, y'all...get a life!!! If you're trying to identify with your audience, fuggetaboudit. It ain't workin.'


A Happy Hooker...

The creator of the item that was pictured here asked me to take the photo down, so I have done so. Anyone interested in what this artist is about, please feel free to go here.

With all this crocheting going on, I get to put my legs up a lot, and --yippee!--it's making a difference in the healing of my leg ulcers. It's nice to have a rationalization for the many caps and hats that are piling up around me. (Want one? Maybe I should put them up on Etsy or Ebay...) Although, as I emailed to my friend Jael, if I ever get to the point I'm making something like the item above, just take me out and shoot me. Well....I did say 'commit' but I'm not sure that would help. AND... if anyone has a neat hat/cap crochet pattern they'd like to share with me, please send it to me at kellythek (at) gmail (dot) com. If you have yarn to get rid of, let me know and if I can use it, I'll reimburse you the mailing cost. Most of the items I make go to the folks at Generations of Hope (www.generationsofhope.org) so it would go to a good cause. (Anything I *sell* is from my own (or Jael's) material.)

I'm watching far too much TV, but since it's part of my medical regimen it's excusable (at least to me). Sometimes I accidentally get pulled into Judge Judy's show, and then I get pissed. I was watching a local 'ask the lawyer' show last year, and they were asked about Judge Judy - the consensus was that she'd probably get disbarred if she behaved on a 'real' bench (the TV judge-shows are arbitration) the way she does on TV. She used to be interesting to watch, but now she's like watching slow-acting acid eat thru litigants' hearts. Compare her to three of my favorites - Judge Joe Brown, Judge Alex, and the gal who took over "People's Court." They get to the heart of the matters at hand without insulting folks. I especially like the way Brown sometimes just leans back, smiles to himself, and listens as the opponents reveal more of the truth in their bickering back and forth than would be achieved in any question/answer session. Judge Alex, who has been a cop and an attorney before becoming a judge, seems to enjoy his position and show and pretty much people in general. They're fun to watch in a way Judy will never ever be.

BTW, I want to say thank you to all the nice people who read my blog-stuff. Sometimes I'm sure I'd find a lot of agreement among my readers; sometimes I really wonder if I've touched a resonant cord or if folks are just too polite to show their disagreement. Hopefully, readers will let me know either way - unless the message is simply too abusive to share, I'll be happy to 'approve' it for sharing here in the 'comments' section of the page.


I hate Hanks!

No, not people named Hank. I mean those torturous wads of yarn which require winding into a ball before any sane person can use them. Whose evil idea, apparently before the beginning of recorded history, was this, anyway?

I remember seeing homey pictures of old-timey housewives winding yarn from the hanks their husbands patiently held before them as they sat (and presumably chatted) by the fire. Well... I don't have a husband OR a fireplace, and I find the winding of these things into balls to be exquisite torture. So much so that I refuse to buy any yarn ever again that comes in hanks.

The machine-wound loaves of yarn are fine... they unwind on their own and the pattern of winding is fascinating in itself. It's the damn wads of fiber like that shown above that kerfluffels me. I've tried knees, feet, and the backs of chairs, as well as cardboard boxes and drawers...nothing makes the winding go smoothly. No matter which direction I start from, there is always that moment when the hank takes on vengeful human characteristics and twists itself just a leeeeeetle bit...just enough to compromise the unwinding. I've learned to take some deep breaths and NOT pull on it--that will only tighten the potential knot-loop and/or draw up one end of the hank into an absolutely unforgiving wad of intermingled strands. At that point the only thing to do is apply the business end of a pair of scissors and put up with little knots in the item this unsolvable puzzle will eventually become.



Busy days...

Been busy trying not to overeat - the current cold snap is invading my budget again, and I just worry about paying our unforgiving utility company if I don't
have something to do with my hands and attention span. As I mentioned earlier, I've begun to do crocheting, a skill I tucked away about 35 years ago. It was slow, this plumbing the depths for what was a dubious talent to begin with, but I've found I can even learn new techniques...enough to make this 'newsboy' cap. (It's actually a grey-green) I want to sell it, but I want to keep it, too...it represents 'old dog learning new tricks.' Anybody wanna make an offer???