Open Letter to Obesity Researchers...

Listen, guys. No, pay ATTENTION!!! You want to help us folks with predisposition to weight gain and make a minta money too? (Now, I'm not talking about those folks with an obesity agenda, who for whatever reason feel the need to gain weight, consciously or subconsciously. )

I'm referring to those of us who have overly efficient bodies that store every little extra calorie in case there is a worldwide famine. Those of us who smile when we see Jessica Simpson with a bit of 'meat on her bones.' Those of us who watch runway models and immediately recognize how the outfit would look on praying mantises. We are there among the folks others deem 'gluttons' and/or mentally ill. We need for you researchers to get on the stick and start recognizing the reason for OUR obesity.

We like taste. Simple as that. We don't need potato chips fried in Olestra. We don't need ugly-tasting fat-free salad dressings. And we certainly don't need the never-ending advice to 'just say no' and 'push yourself away from the table.' Over the centuries society has always used eating as part of a social fabric. (DaVinci didn't paint "The Last Domino Game"... It was the last supper Jesus shared with his Twelve Apostles and disciples prior to ... well, we all know the story.)

Rather than all the diet pill research, all the diet variations and methods of every kind and stripe, why not look to synthetic "faux-food" instead? Find/create a substance with no calories that would pass harmlessly thru the human body (no diarrhea, please) along with more substantial foodstuffs like veggies, fruits, and lean meats and fish. I'd be delighted to stick to a 1200 calorie diet if it meant that I didn't have to stop tasting when I reached that magic intake number. Create synthetic cheesecake and let me have all I want. Make a synthetic steak (uh oh...maybe stick to manufactured goodies - I don't want a national beef council on my back...). Making a synthetic candy bar with no calories but with the taste of popular brands could solve a whole bucket of problems. The manufacturers of the original product could sell the synthetic form right alongside of the 'real' stuff and increase their total sales dramatically.

Jelly Bellys are one of the leading candy products in the U.S., and they are beloved for one essential reason - those folks learned how to copy FLAVOR. If you crave a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, sucking on a one-two combo of JBs of those flavors answers that siren's call for quite a lot of people. I love pina coladas, and damned if the JB people didn't get that taste absolutely perfect - and I didn't have to have a designated driver afterward.

So please, researchers - forget the 'diet aids' and get cracking on making a really great tasting [whatever] which would satisfy our desire for taste and would mimic our favorite foods without the calories. Let those who hide behind their wall of fat for protection go to their therapists, and concentrate on those of us who just love the taste of stuff!

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